The third fembot manip post this month, well how about that! Taking a page out of Apple’s labour practices has really paid off for me, here at the North Pole. I’ve pressed a number of elves into servitude for me, and they toil around the clock for me to produce these manips, so that you can enjoy them on the cheap. And in another 21st century stroke of brilliance, I’m not to blame for their horrendous working conditions, you see, because I contract out the manip-making to a North Pole based elf employment company.
*taps forehead*
Can’t be guilty of violating labour laws and basic human decency if you’re technically not the one doing it. And you have an army of high priced lawyers at your beck and call.
And while I’m spewing out Christmassy twaddle just for the Dickens of it, here’s a poem that I completely came up with all by myself.
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the lab,
All the women were androids so fake and prefab.
When they whirred into action they walked to their places,
Beeped like computers then took off their faces.
Their wiring and circuit boards gleamed in the night,
By flashes of bright coloured LED light.
A buxom tall redhead with monotone voice,
Spoke: “Come with us Human. You don’t have a choice.”
The group of sex robots closed in, beeping faster,
Mechanically seducing and calling me Master.
These androids were programmed to do me no harm,
So I acquiesced to their synthetic charm.
But this is no relationship built out of trust,
This service agreement with robots of lust.
It was then I realized what I had to do.
Merry Christmas to all and to all Machine Screw.
I’m also aware that Christmas was like, last week. Happy New Year, I guess. And now, the manips!
